Funny Marines

**A friend sent this to me knowing my stand on the term 'bitch'.

I doubt this story is true, but it makes for a comment at the end.**

The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat.

There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed French woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, "

Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular,

"Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat available was under that dog.

"Please, ma'am.  May I sit down? I'm very tired."

She snorted,

"Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"  

This time the Marine didn't say a word;

he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window and sat down.

The woman shrieked,

"Someone defend me! Put this American in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up.

"Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.

You hold the fork in the wrong hand.

You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.

And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

On the Road - Thumbelina

Mrs Toad

The scrubbings and the washings

And the noses with the drippings

And the soapas always boiling...

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

Si, Si

Mrs Toad

The panes and windows falling

With the diaper changing

With the roof she's leaking

And the enchiladas spoiling

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

 Oooh...

Mrs Toad

Do you know how to do these things

Like you will have to do these things

Or does the very thought of it make you wince

Thumbelina, Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

Uhh...

Mrs Toad

[I thought so]

Then, don't marry the prince

Thumbelina

[Oh dear]

Mrs Toad

[You see, hey? You become a big a-star like me. We make big moneys together. You make Mama rich. You are important person. You are famous. You are a star!]

Thumbelina

[A star? Well, I suppose...]

Mrs Toad

[Now, repeat after me...]

We are the singers de Espana, the original cast

And there hasn't been a town we haven't played

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

We are the singers de Espana and we sing very fast

Mozo

We get on

Grundel

We get off

Gringo

We get paid

Mrs Toad

[Sing!]

Thumbelina

[Could you say that a little slower?]

Mrs Toad

[Slower? We don't do ballads.]

Thumbelina

[Oh, maybe I could take notes.]

Mrs Toad

We are free and independent, we go everywhere

And we gotcha gotcha gochee all the way

We're gonna teach you how to samba and to ramba y la bamba

and every number Thumbelina, say ole!

Mrs Toad, Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

Come on the road, my little castanet

Come on the road, and famous you will get

Mrs Toad

I'll make you star, get you small guitar

Mrs Toad, Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

You'll be hot muchacha once I gotcha

Mrs Toad

On the road

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

Thumbelinacita! No one could be sweet-a!

Sing with Mamacita! We go on the road, Huah!

Mrs Toad

[Ay, yi yi yi yi! Ay, que pero bien bailan mis ranitos la conga!]

[Now we sing]

We open Monday in Medina then we do Babylon

Then we hop to Barcelona for a week

Then for a month in Athens at the Parthenon

Where they love us 'cause we do the show in Greek

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

We are the finest in the business, it's a well known fact

And you'll forgive us if we have to blow the horn

Mrs Toad

Because this isn't any ordinary animal act

And today a star is born!

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

Go on the road, you'll hear the peoples roar

You're not a toad

Mrs Toad

But that's what make-up's for

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

Just sing on pitch, we get very rich

Wait until they see the Thumbelina

Mrs Toad

On the road

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

Singing Thumbelina, dancing Thumbelina, something Thumbelina

Mrs Toad

Now I make her sing

Thumbelina

AAaaaaahhhhhhh!

Mrs Toad

[Bueno, muy bueno, you got it!]

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

Come on the road, we make you big success

Come on the road

Mrs Toad

You're in the union, yes?

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

The life, she's sweet

Mrs Toad

[Si!]

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

Lots of flies to eat

Mrs Toad

[Yum yum!]

Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

So why be little fish in little pond

When you can go so far beyond

Mrs Toad

I think perhaps we make you blonde

Mrs Toad, Mozo, Gringo, Grundel

When we get on the road

Thumbelina

On the road

All

Let's hit the road! Ole!

Jess's Scarf

You wouldn't believe how much fun I had when making this scarf! It is 10 stitches across by the length of my torso twice. I made it for a fairly tall person so I made it a bit longer than usual.

It really only took me a few hours, in between watching Family Guy, Robot Chicken, Supernatural, The Finder and lots and lots of commercials! 

Cell Phone Numbers

To All:

All Cell Phone numbers go public this month.

National Do Not Call List: Per CT.GOV

888-382-1222

Call from the phone your concerned about....takes about 20 sec. of your time.

DO ITTTTT. Even if you're only doing it for the cute puppy with the glasses! ♥

Maxine Muses

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If people from Poland are called Poles,
then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

If it's true that we are here to help others,

then what exactly are the others here for?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,

then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,

 musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,

models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,

and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ?

Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?

 What are we supposed to do, write to them?

Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen

can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Now, stop laughing long enough to forward this onto somebody else who could also use a good chuckle!!

Expectations

“He’s different,” she warned me, “he’s the opposite of you.”
“Opposite of me?” I thought, “Maybe opposites attract!”

“He’s a college drop out, and works for a living.”
“That is an opposite, I’m going to college, and I work part time.”

“He’s tall, handsome and my boyfriend’s brother.”
“Well I’m short, average and your sorority sister.”

“Ready? He’ll be here in 10 minutes!”
“Not really, I’ll be over there in twenty!”

Blind date, always interesting
Only have a picture to hold as a reference
Does he have any more on me?
Expectations are low but maybe they should be high

First impressions, always not what we expect
Only changed my shoes about four times
Did he do the same when thinking of me?
Expectations are low on myself, but maybe they should be higher

First ride, on our way, shy little buggers are we
Only stuttered about twenty times
I counted, he stuttered more than me
Expectations are starting to level out on each partner

At the musuem, open the door, we’re both struck with wonder
Gazed in awe over the same exhibits and attractions
Are we merely following each other?
Expectations are flying out the window

Dinner, at one of his favorite restaurants
Shart tounges and lashes fly across the table all in good fun
Are we really a good fit for each other?
Expectations show a kindred spirit in the other

Movies, quote the Raven “Nevermore!”
Quotes and questions, hiding from gore in seperate seats
Is that really his brother asking him to hold my hand?
Expectations are really not that important

Home again, and we make a marvelous team playing pool
Awkward but funny, our siblings look on
He can’t see how terrible I play because he’s winning for our team
Expectations are that he is a team player

Goodbye is at my door, and it lasts more than a few moments
Can’t ignore that he has been trying to talk to me all night
Couldn’t we have found a moment to talk in quiet
Expectations are he has an explanation for everything

“So, what did you think?” Asked my sister, “Do you like him?”
“What did I think?” Replied I, “He’s wonderful!”

“So,” Continued she, “Are we going to have a double wedding?”
“Wedding?” I exclaimed, “I just met the guy! But I would say yes right now!”

Prince of Persia The Sands of Time

Prince Dastan: Difficult, not impossible.
Tamina: All more proof you're insane.
Prince Dastan: Why do you look so impressed?
- One of my favorite lines in the movie ☺

Sorry it's not the best picture but it is the cover of the movie! If anyone is familiar with the story of Prince of Persia then you are also familiar with the story line of the raging wars between the brothers and the families and how  one brother was adopted and ...
Oh you're not? Let me fill you in then! The original Prince of Persia was written to explain the video game, which has a hundred different endings and a hundred different stories.  The main one (to my understanding) is as follows: A king had a son and a daughter, and went to war where he killed the leading general of the opposing kingdom. He adopted the son and raised him as his own. When he died the kingdom went to all three of his children. A third general disagreed and told the children (who are now adults) that he will not attack unless if the adopted son and the daughter marry. Already there is tension between the siblings because the siblings had different viewpoints and did not agree with one another over life and death matters. But this Persia where life and death is the meaning of life. In a nutshell the prince and princess marry and she becomes pregnant with his child. and on the child's birth day the opposing general attacks feeling that the kingdom is weak. The infant is whisked away and becomes another chapter in the book. Fast forward about two hundred years. The same kingdom is at a loss because they fear that a prophecy will soon ring true, that a son born on a certain date will take over the kingdom. The king freaks out and orders that all male infants born on that date perish. Thousands of infant boys die, except for one. His mother arraigns that if he was born on that date then he would be taken away. In his place a maiden uses a baby lamb and convinces the guard that the infant was stillborn and defected. Twenty years down the road the son meets a runaway princess (it seems to be a theme here) and they defeat the kingdom that was rightfully his and begin their rule as a peaceful kingdom.
I'm not sure how many years before or after Prince of Persia Sands of Time is to the original story, but I can tell you that it has all the common themes that the original Prince of Persia held. It begins with a king adopting a street rat and raises him with his two sons as a prince. He becomes framed for a murder he did not commit (using magic and deceit, another theme) and ends up in the clutches of a woman that he suddenly became betrothed to, and it helps that she is quite pretty, but he won't admit that! The rogue prince and the high princess go on an adventure to protect the Sands of Time which exist in a magic dagger that can turn back time if you find the secret mechanism.
The princess becomes very agitated, partly because she's forced to be on this adventure with her future cocky betrothed and second of all she wants to protect the dagger. I've noticed that women play a pretty major part in these stories which is a bit of a relief if I may say myself! She makes up for everything that the prince is putting her through, which makes it all better. The villain constantly changes throughout the movie and if you don't pick up on the first, then you don't pick up on who is to blame next and why the heck are there assassins running after the adorable prince now? Magic is evident, time is at stake and if you're squeamish around snakes, then I suggest you watch a different movie. Enjoy!