First hand

If there's one thing I can't stand
Is an attitude that's bland
One that should be canned
And banned
For it's damned
Way that it can outstand
Like a hairband
Or an old waistband
Being tested near the washstand
On how it can expand
Unlike how you understand
Instead you disband
At a hint of a reprimand
As you wave with a freehand
Like a farmhand in the wasteland
But I can outstand
And offhand
Tip your kickstand
Or knock over your book stand
As if I'm from the woodland
Instead I use my sweatband
And toss an underhand
While I'm a deckhand
Sailing just overland
Till I hit the mainland
Where I'll demand
That you'll live on an island
Or a magical play land
That'll be your forever homeland
Where you're in command
Of just a thousand
Attitudes like yours first hand