Bless You!

So the other day my friend sneezed and of course I went BLESS YOU! And like any good story, I recalled an anecdotal that my friend had shared with me regarding her little sister and how she remembered how to not say "Gesundheit!"

When she was very young they visited their grandmother often, who I take it was German. Not long after learning the phrase 'gesundheit' as young as they were they would repeat it. No harm done.

Well, the younger sibling took the phrase 'bless you' in German to heart and, as 4 year olds go, sometimes they don't quite understand or fully comprehend what they hear, and they'll still take it to heart. At the family function her little sister said to the grandmother after she sneezed, loud enough for all to hear:  

"Your Bra's On Tight!" 

 I wonder if she's still the talk of the party! 

What Is Love

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think: 'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8 'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4 'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5 'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6 'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4 'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7 'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss' Emily - age 8 'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents And listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!) 'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate, ' Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet) 'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day..' Noelle - age 7 'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6 'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8 'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6 'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5 'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford .' Chris - age 7 'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4 'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4 'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.'(what an image) Karen - age 7 'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross..' Mark - age 6 'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8 And the final one The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry' When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this. Heavenly Father, please bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of Your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen. Then send it on to five other people, Within hours you caused a multitude of people to pray for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life. P. S. Five is good, but more is better.. God Bless You!

How Old Is Grandma?

How Old is grandma?

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events.
The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandmother replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:
' polio shots
' frozen foods
' Xerox
' contact lenses
' Frisbees and
' the pill

There were no:
' credit cards
' laser beams or
' ball-point pens

Man had not yet invented:
' pantyhose
' air conditioners
' dishwashers
' clothes dryers
' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and
' man hadn't yet walked on the moon

 Your Grandfather and I got married first, and then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother.
Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir."
And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir."
We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.
Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.
We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.
We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.
Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started.
Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends -not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CD's, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.
The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.
Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.
We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.
And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
Gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:
' "grass" was mowed,
' "coke" was a cold drink,
' "pot" was something your mother cooked in and
' "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
' "Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,
' "chip" meant a piece of wood,
' "hardware" was found in a hardware store and.
' "software" wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.
No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap.
How old do you think I am?
I bet you have this old lady in mind. You are in for a shock!
Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.

Are you ready?????

This woman would be only 60 years old, Born in 1952.

GIVES YOU SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.
PASS THIS ON TO THE OLD ONES.
THE YOUNG ONES WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

Blow Your Horn

Little Boy Blue come blow your horn,
The sheep's in the meadow the cow's in the corn.
But where's the boy who looks after the sheep?
He's under a haystack fast asleep.
Will you wake him? No, not I - for if I do, he's sure to cry

 

 

 

I'm in a bit of a nostalgic mood today, and upon research, found out that this poem really is not what we thought at first it meant! I thought it was about a little lazy Shepard's son, who neglects his job and the animals start wandering.

In reality the story is largely based on a young scholar who liked to 'blow his horn' about graduating early. Gee, if you were around now, I'd wish that you didn't talk about it so much. I'd write a poem about you too talking about how you are such a smarty pants. And commemorate you as a little boy. He he. 

I'm sticking this under cliche, because don't we all know someone that likes to 'blow their horn' a lot? Sometimes that person likes to talk about how good they are in one subject, or how they are with a particular set of skills. Let's stop using this cliche ourselves and SHUT UP! If there is discussion about how we are good about a certain something, fantastic! Let's be modest and change the subject. Compliment someone else on something their good at, and let them be on the pedestal for the day.

Let's be modest, people, and let others have the spotlight.

 

 

She drove me to drink...

I used to be like this...

Then I met a girl...

 

She was like this...

 

 Together we were like this...

 I gave her gifts like this...

 When she accepted my proposal 

I was like this...

 I used to talk to her all night like this...

 And at the office I used to do this...

 When my friends saw my girlfriend

they stared like this...

 And I used to react like this...

 But on Valentines Day she recieved

a red rose from some one else like this...

 And she was like this...

 And I was like this...

 Which later led to this...

 And this...

 I felt like doing this...

 So I started doing this...

 NOW look at me...

 DAMN Girls!

Shirley & Marcy

A mother was concerned about her kindergarten son, Timmy, walking to school.
He didn't want his mother to walk with him.
She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe.
So she had an idea of how to handle it.
She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her.
The neighbor said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.
The next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew.
She did this for the whole week.

As the two walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week.
Finally she said to Timmy,
'Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?'
Timmy nonchalantly replied,

'Yeah, I know who she is.'
The little girl said,

'Well, who is she?'
'That's just Shirley Goodnest ,

' Timmy replied, 'and her daughter Marcy ....'
'Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us?
'Well,' Timmy explained,

'every night my Mum makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much.
And in the Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest

(surely goodness) and Marcy

(mercy) shall follow me all the days of my life',

so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!'

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you; the Lord lift His countenance upon you, and give you peace.

May Shirley Goodnest and Marcy be with you today and always

I know you smiled!
I sure did, Pass this on
And brighten someone's day

"There's no charge for love."

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.
He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of
his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked
down into the eyes of a little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a
handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence,the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up...

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.

In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.

Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

"How much?" asked the little boy... "No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

It's National Friendship Week.

Show your friends how much you care. Show this to everyone you consider a FRIEND as well as those who WERE!!! If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

A Dog's Purpose by a 6 year old boy

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolf hound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

 

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

 

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

 

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

 

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, 'I know why.'

 

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

 

He said, 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good Life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right? The Six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.'.

 

Live simply Love generously.Care deeply.Speak kindly.

 
 

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

• Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
• Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy
• When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
•  Take naps. Stretch before rising. Run, romp, and play daily.
• Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
• Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
• On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
• On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
• When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
• Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Be loyal.
• Never pretend to be something you're not.
• If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
• When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

 

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible.

This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes.
I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???
Through the eyes of a child:

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.

Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees.

Jesus also had twelve opossums.

The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontiusthe Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.