Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Chuck

We've agreed to do it, tonight at sundown. It's Friday the 13th, and its setting my teeth on edge. But I love Charlie, and I trust him. If he says tonight is the night, then tonight we are going to do it. We lost Rachel and Courtney, Courtney's Dad, and Justin. Even though they are lost doesn't mean they can't be found.  They will be found. We will find them. There's nothing thats going to stop us. Is there?

Chuck and I set a date, to get married that is. The day he leaves is the day we are going to Washington DC and getting married down there.  Why shouldn't we get married? I broke up with Greg, it was fake, and he knew it. When I told him there was no emotion, no flash that he cared, no obvious sign that he cared. We both knew that it was a sham, it was fake.

Greg only filled the void while Chuck was gone over in Europe. We can still remain friends, but I'm afraid Greg is going to risk his life to save Courtney, we might lose him too. We need more help, but we don't have time to find more help.

We're coming in there hell, and we're not coming back out until we find what we are looking for and return it to its rightful place. I'm talking about the people we love, they are not staying in hell without a fight. 

Follow in his Footsteps

I had to meet him
  After school
    To work on homework
       And to discuss my grade.
Slowly I packed up my books
  Rewrote down my homework
     Fixed my jacked one last time
       Stalled for time.
I could hear his polished shoes
  Click down the empty hallway
    He knew where my locker was
       As if he could zone down on my fear.
He gestured with his manicured finger
   Beckoning me to follow his steps
     My sneakers squeeked his shoes clicked
        And we walked down the hallway together.
I tried to start a conversation
  Stuttering about the rainy weather
    He shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care
       Although I knew he disliked wet grass.
Finally we arrived at his office
  Surprisingly decorated with familiar childish drawings
    He shut the door and I sat down
       And finally he asked "So, why are you failing?"
I mumbled a response as he removed his jacket
  Hanging it up on the wall
     He said "Liz your mother and I know it is hard
         But as your father I believe you can do better."

Monday, November 29, 2010

Uh Oh... Christmas Gifts!

Do you have a few people that need Christmas gifts but you don't have the money to buy them gifts that come from the heart?
NEVER FEAR THE BLOG IS HERE!!!
I'm kidding, I've just wanted to say that since I started the blog. Hehe.

Any whose...

*koff koff*

Do you have any gifts that are hanging out in your closet from bygone days and past holidays? Simply REGIFT. But make sure that you're not giving the same gift to that someone that gave it to you. That would be kinda bad. I was cleaning this weekend and I found six bouncy balls, five unfinished gimp projects and four boxes of different sizes filled with Christmas Tree Goodies.  Yea, its time to regift those things. Oh and a Tinkerbell ping pong set. Uhhh regift? For the baby cousin? Yes, I think so too. I don't even like the new Tinkerbell, she looks undisney like, and fake. And she has a voice! The original Tinkerbell didn't have a form and hardly talked!
Okay rant is over, but serioulsy, isn't regifting the cheaper way to go? We spend enough on taxes and food and appliances and bills and school and other means, shouldn't we look into something that'll stop burning a hole in our pockets? (Seeing that we actually still have pockets since businesses keep reaching in there to take a little bit more out every day!)

Happy Re-Shopping!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Yupp... thats me x.x

Wizard of Oz....

Is on right now ... :]

If birds can fly over the rainbow
Oh why oh why can't I?

Summer Rerun: 10 things

If anyone knows me, they know that I'm not the cleanest prson in the world. My room is a wreck, my desk I can't see and well... I suspect the mice like my room.
But enough about me, how about my room?

Lately, everyday that I'm home I throw out TEN items that I
a. no longer remember the significance to,
b. is obvioiusly trash or
c. tell me again why I should keep it because I'm never going to use it again.
Awesome right?
Well, its working for me. I dared my roommate back at school to do it too, but for her I asked her to throw out FIVE things. Not a bad start right? I didn't think so.
Today I threw out old recipts (after shredding throughly), old ads, a few pieces of gimp jewelry and junk that I'll never wear again and no one else will and a few oher things that I can't even remember. And that's GOOD people!
In middle school I used to try to throw out 100 things before I went to bed. Usually I'd be yelled at before I even got anywhere near 40 but this time its achievable.  After 10 things a day for Thanksgiving break, I can move on to 20 things or maybe even 25 things during Christmas break.  
You always have to start with baby steps in any big project that you consider finishing in the long run.
So 10 Things CHUCK tomorrow, deal?

Creeping Feeling

It crept back in
While I was stocking the shelves
A shadow of my formal self
And the shadow of a companion near the door
The first one made my shadow boil red
Scary it became towering over
He stood strong and defiant
As if he could beat me
I know now that he couldn’t
But how could I let my anger
Get the best of me?
The second apparation appeared
Not much longer after the first
A cold feeling set in
Just enough for my back to shiver
I turned around with a stock item
In my steady hand
There I was … only again
Hovering just above the floor
With another hovering figure near me
My figure glowed blue unlike before
Blue as in happy
Blue as in cool
Blue as in perfect
But what else could blue be?
I think blue could be sad
Sad as in he is not the one
Red as in he is not the other one
What apparation should I listen to
If I’m only ever sad
Or ever seeing red
Oh who could help me for I’m only human
Is it the boy who made me mad?
Or the boy who turned me blue?

Friday, November 26, 2010

Home

Its funny how I thought I’d never miss
My fathers kiss
When he said goodbye
His scratchy beard
Odd tall hug
Always a laugh in voice
When he saw me walk away

Its funny how I thought I’d never miss
My mothers typing
When she was often bored
And often alone
Because we all were away
And there was nothing left to do

Its funny how I thought I’d never miss
My brothers whistling
Day in and day out
Always the same tune
Either here or there or everywhere
Not to be annoying
Just for the fun of it
To prove that hes always happy

Its funny how I thought I’d never miss
The cold in my room
I find more blankets
And latch the window
But the cold still creeps in
I smell the fires and the smoke
Anywhere I go
And it makes me think of
Home

Spencer

He called me again subtly
Almost pleadingly
Asking me to be with him again
To have my hopes be dashed
Again
Against the wall
To have him again within my sight
Brought tears to what is 
Within my locked heart
Where all sensitivity
Is bound
For all eternity
Locked because of broken hearts
Locked because of broken dreams
Locked because of lost sleep
                              lost years
                              lost sheep
Locked because of lost .....
The battery is running low
But it can be replaced
By another
But only another can open
     Only another can replace
Broken memories
Broken dreams
Broken patterns of life
He wasn't one to last and last
But there surley will be another.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Educated

My name is Chealsea.
I had a dog, but I lost it. I had a mommy and a daddy and other people in my family, but I lost them too. I went to school, I lost my homework and my library book too. The librarian is going to be mad at me. But thats okay because I think I'm lost too.
I'm lost with the wrong socks, the missing books, the missing homeworks. I'm lost with the missing buttons and shoes and mittens. I'm lost with puzzle pieces, game pieces and pieces of pie. I'm lost with music, in passages of books and within glances between people. I'm lost in mazes, in maps and within daydreams. I'm lost with appetite, trains of thought and innocence. I'm lost where nothing can be found.
I'm lost but I don't want to be found. There would be no point in being found again if I already know what its like to have a purpose. Where I am I see a collage of moving mismatched pieces its like watching a thought race around the room with no where to go and no where to end.  There are piles of items that match but will never match, there is always the slightest difference. 
When I came here I had no purpose yet, I was only nine, unlearned, unchanged, innocent and easily forgotton. If I am found I'll become lost again, found and once more lost. I have no label, I have no care, I have no hidden agenda.
St. Anthony is who my mother used to pray aloud to when she was playing hide and seek with me. St. Anthony is not here, there are no angels, no demons, no humans. There are lost souls, and lost minds and lost children. They are easy to recycle back into society. All that is needed is a few alterations in lost memories which I easily provide.
Items such as puzzle pieces and game markers have been worked into my collage of moving breathing life, those I need to keep the balance between lost and found.
When trust, innocence and hope are lost, they become dreams. Pale yellow floating dreams that can infect, torment and destroy the feeble human mind. I can't save the pathetic humans from all of thier lost dreams, but I can try.
I am still compassionate and I can still remember what it was like to be human, and to watch humans grow. I am not cruel nor am I vicious. I left a piece of me in Nodnol, and I left my innocence to Heaven. When my successor comes I will be ready to go to Heaven.
But for now, as I am in the innocent body of a pig-tailed nine year old, I am Found and will reclaim your Lost.

Butterflies

Day by day I watch my wife slip away,
like a wilted flower with not a ray of sunshine.
Staring out the window
Counting the days on her rosary
Murmering sweet prayers
To invisible angels.
At night she talks
And voices her fears
But only when she thinks I'm asleep.
Again before dawn I found her
Waiting almost besides the window sill
The sun streaming in through the dusty panes.
I took her pale veined hand
She had aged over the small space of a month
Almost ghost like she followed my lead
Out into the garden.
This is where our pride and joy
Our own childish play had taken place.
Digging in the rich earth
Giving life to crumbling seeds.
But now our garden is brown and desolate
The crickets are no longer rampant
The worms have hibernated
The birds flown the coop.
All that was left today was a tired little butterfly
Too cold to flap her wings
Too afraid to fly away
Too hungry to move.
My lovely wife let go of me
And reached for the dying butterfly.
She turned to me and opened her palm
Where the dying beauty clung.
As if reciting another slow painful prayer
She softly sang in her quiet voice,
"For dust thou art,
And unto dust shalt thou return."
The butterfly died
And the last bit of hope in my wife did too.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Seeing is Believing

A small gesture of unthanks certainly topped off my day
From the overweight brown clothed UPS guy named Ray
I stepped in his path unconciously and would’ve ended up dead
Because of this erractic driver who is by his wifes cooking over fed
That one little movement of the finger really messed me up
So I threw at him what ammo I had… a McDonalds Coke Cup
He didn’t see me and thats probably really good luck
Cause from his position he wouldn’t been able to duck
Of course nearby there was a little girl all dressed in red
But then she dissapeared, and I thought, was is something I said?
I wandered back to my car almost forgetting the alarm
And shut the back hatch, after all I didn’t live in a barn
Her dissaperance puzzled me and it should any body else
I went back home and ate for dinner my favorite: oven melts
But questioned the fact why she wanted to see me
Afterwards I realized that my other sight had returned, I could again ‘See!’

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Being Single

Every day I get a flower
from the Hibiscus on the stair

After smelling its sweet fragrance
I settle down to breakfast
In my favorite chair

I turn on the tv and watch the teenage soaps
Then the troublesome news
Who said the weather would be fair
I do my chores and call my mother
Finish putting my hair up with a flair

I call up my girl frinds we make plans
to have lunch to shop to have fun
And not really have a care

Run home right after around 3 o’clock
second shower this time use nair

Work Work Work all night
not a single breath of fresh air

Hard work paid off big pay check
Get along with customers and staff
The manager begins to stare

We close up I vacuume she cashes out
I say good night and walk out
Get a ride home and pay the cab fare

Open the door read the mail and the answer machine
Drink a glass of red wine? I think tonight I’ll dare

A moment to myself red wine and a trashy novel
And me and my cat oh aren’t we a pair

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Best Line Ever

Tangled <3

This is very scary!

NEW RAPE METHOD - PLEASE READ.......VERY IMPORTANT !!!!



A new way to abduct a female.... very scary!
NEW RAPE SCAM!!!! PLEASE READ!!!!!
Please pass on to all your girlfriends, wives, etc. Just to be on the safe side. Please be aware and pass it on to anyone you think this will help.
Sunday afternoon around 5 PM I headed into the Target in Philadelphia , Pa. where crime is VERY RARE and mostly it is with bikes being stolen!! It was still light outside and I parked fairly close to the entrance. As I got out of my car and began walking towards Target, an older lady shouted to me from the passenger seat of a car about 30 feet away from me.

"Ma'am you must help me, help me please, help me Ma'am!". I looked at her in the eyes and started to walk towards her when all of a sudden I remembered an email my Mom had sent me a week or two ago about rapists and abductions using elderly people to lure women in.

I paused, memorized the license plate and immediately headed into Target to get a manager to come help this lady, just in case something was up. While the woman manager headed out there, I kept a close watch just because I was curious what was wrong with the lady an wanted to be sure nothing happened.

As the Target lady walked up towards the car and got very close to the old woman in order to help her, the back door of the car flies open and a large man with a stocking cap on, jumps out and sticks a gun to the lady's stomach as he shoves her into the back of the car.

I yelled out "call 911" several times and just as I was saying that, a policeman who happened to be on the other side of the parking lot! And who, luckily had seen the entire thing happen, raced over to the car.

He was able to stop the car and arrest the male as well as the old lady, who was involved in the scheme..

By God's grace everyone was all right, including myself, although I think we were both shaken up.

Like many of you, I would not in a million years have left an elderly person who was yelling for help if it weren't for the e-mail I had read last week.

So,

I wanted to pass this along so you all can be aware and remember that you really can't trust anyone these days. You just never know when something like this could happen. I would have never dreamed it to happen to me especially on a Sunday afternoon at a Target in a safe area!

It definitely was not a coincidence that my Mom sent that email just a few days before this all happened. Please,be careful and always be aware of your surroundings.

Just because you individually don't go over to help someone doesn't mean you have to leave them in trouble, but don't go ALONE, you really don't know what might be going on.

This is true and they also use childre n to lure the victim !!

Please pass on to all your girlfriends, wives, etc. Just to be on the safe side.

Please be aware and pass it on to anyone you think this will help.

One Voice - Billy Gilman

Some kids have and some don't

And some of us are wondering why
Mom won't watch the news at night
There's too much stuff that's making her cry
We need some help
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard

A house, a yard, a neighborhood
Where you can ride your new bike to school
A kind of world where Mom and dad
Still believe in the golden rule
Life's not that simple
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard


One voice, one simple word
Hearts know what to say
One dream can change the world
Keep believing
Till you find a way

Yesterday while walking home
I saw some kid on newberry road
He pulled a pistol from his bag
And tossed it in the river below
Thanks for the help
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard
One voice was heard
One voice was heard

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Akira Kurosawa

In a mad world, only the mad are sane.

I like...

I like roses I like daisies I like all with a petal
Get the hint I don't like anything metal

I like candy I like fruit and I like hamburgers too
Get the hint, Boots does not qualify as a shoe

I like to write I like to sing I like to giggle & laugh
Get the hint, it wont work if we dine at a 24 hour cafe

I like colors I like light I like the sunshine
Get the hint, if it has my name on it, its definetly mine

I like fast cars, I like to roller skate, I like to have fun
Get the hint, our relationship is far from done

Monday, November 15, 2010

Of the Night

You tell me I'm quiet I'm shy I'm easy and friendly
Yet you tell me to leave almost delightedly
You tell me its a turn off a downer a sin
Yet you tell me there is a deeper sense within
You tell me all your lies and deep loathings
Yet you tell me its someone else that you're doting

Its too bad how I listen to you
All you have is an act that I can see through
You tell me I'm all these wonderful things
And yet somehow I wish that I had wings
To fly away from your cursed mouth
And just go somewhere away perhaps south

I think you're hopeless and idiot and rude
I know that I'm a romantic prude
Its what you dont say to my face that hurts the most
Its as if I have to endure punishment at the whipping post
I'm done with you and thats a fact
My thoughts are not mellow actually they are quite exact

At first you were polite bringing flowers and wine
Even then you didn't resemble what you are... swine!
You are a weed in my garden of roses
I cannot sit here, because of you it all decomposes
You are foul and bile and I certainly no longer approve
Therefore from please yourself from my doorstep, remove

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Strawberry - banana

IF YOU DON'T REPOST THIS YOU WILL BE SINGLE UNTIL YOU'RE 180(and by then you would be as dead as a door nail,buried and full of maggots so i would repost this!!).


NO JOKE. PUT One of these as the subject:

A-P-P-L-E-- (If you are taken.)

B-L-U-E-B-E-R-R-Y--(If you adore someone.)



B-A-N-A-N-A-- (If you are confused.)



C-H-E-R-R-Y--(If you like someone but not sure how they feel about you.)



G-R-A-P-E-- (If your single.)



L-E-M-O-N-- (If you have given up.)



P-E-A-C-H-- (If there's no point in liking the person you like.)



P-I-N-E-A-P-P-L-E-- (If your just taking life as it comes.)



S-T-R-A-W-B-E-R-R-Y--(If you like someone and they like you but you're not going out.)



SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TONIGHT AT 11:30pm!!!!!?

Send:

less then 5 people= bad luck until you are 180

6-10= you will have bad luck until your 50

11-15= you will get hugged by your crush

16-20= you will get kissed by crush

20 and more= your crush will ask you out

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Before

One past February when the baby shower finished on time
The presents unwrapped the games the bell began to chime
All mothers knew it the call would come soon
At that time the unknown father would be over the moon
Or so we hoped, we really weren't sure
But calling the infant a boy might be the right lure
The games were finished and we left in a hurry
As for the grandma to be she was in a fury
The father never did again show his face
Although personally I would have covered it in mace
The following May we all heard the great news
And all gathered later at Aunt Sues
For the baby had been born late the previous night
And we managed a day with out a fight
Grandparents were proud Great's were as well
The Great great grandma we told but if she knew we couldn't tell
It was a happy day and all know that
But soon after the attitudes fell flat
We tried to help teaching the little one a family name 
But we knew her mother deep down knew only shame 
She may never understand the relationship I have with her 
But its still cute when we ask about the kitty and she starts to purr
Off and on she'll get a name right 
And when she wears her dresses she is a sight 
One of these days she'll find the right Dad 
But for now I find the situation a little sad 

Friday, November 12, 2010

My Cousins Last Embrace

Family holidays - everyone cheerful happy sane

The bygone days when Ayla was carried by Grandma Jane

Time to go, say goodbye, collect the children

Ellen watching Emily practice her cello in the den

Quick kisses redressing of winter coats

Uncle Dan inquiring my father about his new boat

Toys were being collected food being wrapped

Directions to the new house being mapped

The remaining food put in Mom's basket and into the trunk

The more awake younger generation in the yard practicing 'slam dunks'

Saying goodbye leaves internal wishes of asking to stay

We could stay, its seems, for just another day

But we are one of the few who can make the homeward trip

Aunt Sue says to her sister in law 'You forgot the dip!'

My family begins to leave, holding the food and shoe horns

A sigh goes through the house for one who is too frail to come, we mourn

With out her the children grow older, hair thins and goes grayer

A wedding and a new child become even more rarer

My cousin stand quiet in the hallway

He's the last I have to say goodbye to today

Since we are cousins there is no reason to lie

And still awkwardly we say goodbye

Years later we have grown, gone to college, to work, we are still living

But that hug was the last I received from him, that past Thanksgiving

My Prince

There is no where that I am to be found


So alone I go and fly around

In my dreams I dance with him

The music is low the lights are dim

I awaken early before the dawn

To watch the dewdops in the lawn

I wait inside my window like a faithful princess

Mending day by day my wedding dress

Through the mirror I watch the world go by

The knight travels by my way, his horse shies

From the beast that gaurds the door

It gives out a warning roar

The sign above the palace gate

Reads how it is a Prince's fate

To break my mirror and set me fee

But be warned for I cannot see

And I am mute nor can I hear

There is nothing that I fear

Once I know where life takes me

Then I will finally see

The Prince he heard my silent plea

And to the beast he asked where is she?

For I will save her from her tedious tasks

Do you know her? The beast asks

Do you know what she has heard?

Like the sounds of the ocean, and the common black bird?

Or what she has seen with her own eyes?

Beauty, Ugliness and everyones Lies?

Have you heard what she has said?

Have you heard what she has said to bring back the dead?

No, the Prince replied

I only paused because my horse shied

If she needs me to take her away from here

And she says she has nothing to fear

Why can she not love who she is to be

And then I will bow down on one knee

When she knows who she is

And remove herself from her own abyss

Then I will return to take her away

We will travel for a year and day

To see the world and everywhere in between

And when we are through she will be my Queen.

I heard him below talking to the beast

I did not want to go with the Prince, not in the least

I pretended to be dumb and blind

When he came upstairs that is what he did find

I found my way on my own to leave the window

And realized I was my own foe.

To keep myself trapped inside and not be free

To absorb life and its beauty is really the key.

Performance

Thought of you today
And I almost did cry
I did manage to say
But out it came as a lie

I know your up there
Watching over me
It truly isn’t fair
Of what you really can’t see

I see my family moving on
Without me so it appears
Almost like a breaking dawn
Only you know my fears

I’m still to young to catch the lie
But even so I know just enough
Please tonight continue to fly
Down here on Earth, life is rough

She may never remember who you are
And he may never recover
But I know you are never far
In my heart I know you are with your lover

Over the years you’ve seen so much
From sons to great great grandchildren
And seen so many students as such
And seen your greats’ grow into young men

I still cry when I think of you
I’m sure the family does too
This much I know is true
There really isn’t much to do

There never can be a good bye
For I never did have the chance
I keep telling myself its a lie
Then I get up to dance

One of these days I’ll know what to do
But for now I’ll say I miss you
On stage you’ll hear them give me my cue
And I’ll dedicate this performance to you.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Dreams

My baby is in Heaven, I can just tell. My nightmares ended.  Now I can see her, standing in a white light, laughing the way she used to. No longer scared, or withered away. She is happy, and carefree when I see her. This was the other night, I wanted to go to her, hug her, tell her I loved her, say at least goodbye, but I couldn't. I was rooted to where I stood, standing still, in a field of grass, and she was on the other side of the hill, standing in the bright light, that streamed from the sky. Blue sckies, green grass and hills that rolled on to the distance. She told me once, as we were driving back from a trip to New York that this was where she would find heaven, a little nook like this way out in the country side. I believe that my baby found her little nook out there in heaven, where the green grass roles, the birds sing and all worries are gone. I know whe has found her Heaven. 

Last night was a similar dream, but it was Charlie, Charlie appeared in my dreams, he hasn't in such a long time.  Since he left us three years ago. I don't think I've dreamed about him in at least two years. He was in a woods, with a stream that ran through it. He was lounging in a hammock, strung up in two trees with his hat set askew to ward off the bugs. We have a picture of him from the same trip in New York just like it. But instead of the picture being two dimensional, this was real, this is where he was truly happy. All he needed was a few supplies to fish with, a mid afternoon snack and a lovely afternoon that he could waste away doing what he loved.  I wanted to say hello to Charlie, but again I was stuck, I couldn't move towards him, I couldn't move away from him, I could only see him. I called his name and he turned toward me, with that goofy grin he always had on, but he looked through me. Like he couldn't see me.

Maybe some day we'll be together again, Me, Charlie and my little baby. But for now all I have is pictures and memories, both of which will fade away as dreams do. I don't want to wake up, but one day I must and face the reality.

I don't have much time left in the mortal world, but when my time is up I want to join them in Heaven.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Reunion

I found Dad I found my daughter
Everything is alright
They can't get us
We don't need to be found
We don't need heaven
We don't need life
All the faces
Are gone
The voices
Are gone
We are at peace
We dont need
Anything
There is a light
We are going
To follow it
Hello end
We've been waiting
For you ...

Dead

Its a cruel thing, to love someone then they are taken away. Its even crueler when you can hear thier voice on the wind, almost calling for you, but you know they're gone.  They exist in your dreams, in reflections from windows, thier shadows dancing in the sunlight with yours.  Then, as a blink of an eye, they are gone. The chance to say you miss them, love them, need them, is gone.  There is no take backs for things that you had said, or done to them. The chance was gone, you blew it.

I don't have another chance to hear Courtney laugh, or sing, or even dance for me. The wind plays tricks on me, I think I can hear her voice, but just as quickly its gone. When I'm driving and I lose the radio for a split second, in that split second I can hear her laugh, wavy like you would hear through a fan. Her dancing, I can see her in my living room, swaying and then energetically dancing to any beat from the old player. The shadows on the floor from the window flutter, throwing her shape against the wall, its almost too much that I can bear. I can't work anymore, I see her in the doorway looking for me, with a coke in her hand. The guys think I'm crazy, avoiding the front door, but I can't help myself. I'm always looking for her, like she'll just reappear, all dressed up in her summer dress, with no where to go but to visit me.

Alice. Ugh, Alice. I told her we had to break up. She looked me in the eye and said "I know." And just like it was done. No heart break, no tears, no questions. Just a 'I know' and a walk out the door. Who knows where she is now. I don't really care. I never loved her anyways. She might know about my love to Courtney, but I don't know, nor do I really care anyways. The whole world can know, I'll tell the newspapers. I hope Courtney knows that I love her, its all I have to hold on to her right now. She's all I have, I have hope, but will it be enough.

Peace

Peace
I found it
Its here
Life is gone
I'm joining them
I'm gone
When they come
I'll be ready
They will find me
I'll be ready
They will find me

Finding

I'm giving up
Theres no one coming
They can't find me
I'm too deep
I'm trying to remember
Her Laugh
His Smile
The smell of strawberries
I can barely remember
My name
My voice
My own laugh
My name
Only one phrase
Est
Oy
En
La
Gl
O
Ri
A
Its keeping me alive
I'm farther from death
Than
Than Cour-ta-nee

Questions

We have love, but how much do we need to survive?

If we have luck, how much do we have before it runs out?

Do we need anymore? Where does it go?

Will I ever see my fiance again? Will my baby know his laugh?

Will I ever see my sister again? Will she ever hug me again?

Will I ever see my daughter, my love, my best friend again?

Will there ever be a time when can see them again?

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Purina Animal Allstars

http://purinaanimalallstars.yahoo.com/?v=8516607

In the Beginning

All stories begin with a once upon a time, a simple beginning with a simple character.  Its happy, simple, quaint. Then there is the plot, an evil character, an escape and the happy, cheerful, adorable, young character learns a lesson, or moves up the corporate ladder. More often than not moving from a lowly place such as a waitress to a princess position. No one in these happy fairy tales actually face any hardships, or actual real danger. There was a fairy godmother, magic wishes or a pot sheer luck. Then the story would wrap up with a simple the end, or they all lived happily ever after kind of happy, makes you feel good kind of ending. You walk away with a moral, a lesson, or knowing that you just spent the time reading a worthwhile story. There was a beginning, a middle with a lesson and and end.

In this story, if no one has realized it, there is no happy go lucky child who learns her lesson with the help of her fairy grandmother. There is no moving up the corporate ladder from wench to princess in a matter of days.  There is no escape for these characters.  Instead we have normal real people who are dealing with a ruthless unseen monster that lives in thier own backyard. A menaching danger to all who are hiding any thing from anyone. This monster hunts out those who have a secret to tell and forces the secret out, or others within the secret suffer. There is no lesson, no proof of manliness, no magic wishes to make everything how it was.

Instead all these people have is luck, pure luck and love. There always has to be love. With this combination real life can happen, and dangers can be passed.  With this bond any drama, dangerous situation, or trouble that life may present, it can be solved, peole can be rescued and the danger will pass. 

Here we have luck and love, but will it be strong enough to prevail against this danger?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

24 Hours

Theres never enough time within the day

As the old fashioned rhyme does say
As a people we must move move move
Eventually agrueing there is a groove
On the floor from where we pace
And often time against the clock we race
What time is it is what we ask
Then when answered we run very fast
Meetings seem always on the run
Never pencil in time for any fun
Always late never on time
Tardiness is marked as a crime
Was there ever a world that was not so coiled
At a time when people could have leisurely toiled?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Opinionated

Snide comments loaded sarcasm
ignore questions lots of spasms
Online always right
wondering why theres a fight

Abuse the parents
Oh thats not what I meants
Light on lights off
Sanitize when theres a cough

Homework constant never a good time
Wonder why I sing in rhymes
Tastes are wrong
Won’t be friends for long

Never laughs never smiles
Quite easily riles
Always assumes never knows
constantly with me has rows

Flowers are dead
Theres too much food
You lost the weight now stop being rude
Its a show it is very funny
 Cut it out your nose isn’t runny

There is corruption there is war
You are opinionated to the core
He broke your heart let in another
Stop yelling at your mother

Its too hot Its too cold
I’ll say again you’re going to mold
 Be quiet I’m trying to speak
By the way your side of the room stinks

I’m off the map
 I’m short as well
 But how can you tell
You have too high an ego
Now all you gotta do is take it below

Break it down leave it be
I’m hurt alot cant you see
No you cant its “me me me”
I’m leaving early and you can pay that fee

Monday, November 1, 2010

Not Alone

When you’re alone    
You can hear your heart beat
When it’s just you
You can hear the wind talking
As a loner
You can hear the grass growing
When you’re solitary
You can hear the stars singing
When you are isolated
You can hear God speaking to you
And you know how wonderful a sound that is

Marriage

Its crocadile tears whenever you leave
Whispered phone calls within the closet
The faintest rumor of definite demise
Friends know and the family does too
The ring is in the ash tray
A note left on the table
Family know where the hotel is
Friends are already there
Theres no way to turn back time
Maybe its time to accept
That our engagement is over

Green

The color of the sky before the storm
When Spring washes over the Earth
Natural plumage of a mating bird
Stirring sea foam after the hurricane
Lasting stem when the flower is gone
Leaves of grass beneath your toes
Cacti in the desert standing strong
Pine tree deep in the woods
Envious of the gorgeous day
And being unable to share it with you

Gotchya

Artificial light streams into the room Synthetic fibers embrace my skin Electric wind spins around the room Fake wood surrounds the window Natural flavors in unnatural consumables Plastic flowers in a plastic vase Fake hair on real heads Metal bones replace real bones Where did the time go when Bones were set naturally Hair was gone so hats replaced Flowers were given then planted Food was made with herbs and spices Houses were made with trees rocks and mud The wind blew outside not inside Animals provided our clothes And the sun was our best source of light