Dreams

My baby is in Heaven, I can just tell. My nightmares ended.  Now I can see her, standing in a white light, laughing the way she used to. No longer scared, or withered away. She is happy, and carefree when I see her. This was the other night, I wanted to go to her, hug her, tell her I loved her, say at least goodbye, but I couldn't. I was rooted to where I stood, standing still, in a field of grass, and she was on the other side of the hill, standing in the bright light, that streamed from the sky. Blue sckies, green grass and hills that rolled on to the distance. She told me once, as we were driving back from a trip to New York that this was where she would find heaven, a little nook like this way out in the country side. I believe that my baby found her little nook out there in heaven, where the green grass roles, the birds sing and all worries are gone. I know whe has found her Heaven. 

Last night was a similar dream, but it was Charlie, Charlie appeared in my dreams, he hasn't in such a long time.  Since he left us three years ago. I don't think I've dreamed about him in at least two years. He was in a woods, with a stream that ran through it. He was lounging in a hammock, strung up in two trees with his hat set askew to ward off the bugs. We have a picture of him from the same trip in New York just like it. But instead of the picture being two dimensional, this was real, this is where he was truly happy. All he needed was a few supplies to fish with, a mid afternoon snack and a lovely afternoon that he could waste away doing what he loved.  I wanted to say hello to Charlie, but again I was stuck, I couldn't move towards him, I couldn't move away from him, I could only see him. I called his name and he turned toward me, with that goofy grin he always had on, but he looked through me. Like he couldn't see me.

Maybe some day we'll be together again, Me, Charlie and my little baby. But for now all I have is pictures and memories, both of which will fade away as dreams do. I don't want to wake up, but one day I must and face the reality.

I don't have much time left in the mortal world, but when my time is up I want to join them in Heaven.