Waking Up

In the middle of my dreaming
I sensed something was wrong
In the middle of my dreaming
My dreaming took a wrong turn
I expected to wake up and not remember
But I remembered every detail
The families grief, my lack of understanding
How we left his room the way it was
He was young, not older than four
And he had passed on
But all I knew as I cleaned up his room
Was it was time to move on
I hid from my mothers gaze and cleaned
Put the dead markers away
Cleaned up the floor
I didn't recognize the house
Nor did I recognize the hallway
I heard a toy playing in the next room
And I ran across the hall to play with it
I was still very young
I felt like I was six or seven, again
The first dream I've had since I was very young
The toy I found was my favorite Christmas toy
But I wouldn't recieve it for many years
I didn't understand
Then I understood when I woke up
That feeling un being unbalanced had shaken me
And I felt like the day was going to be worse
I looked at my messanger box
And there was the omen I had been looking for
He had written, only a simple word
But at 2 a.m. at that
I would not have been awake,
Why would he think I would be?
Hours later I'm still trying to dismiss the message
Trying to dismiss the memories
Trying to ignore the feelings that have been building inside
And wishing that they can be absorbed by another.