Part one....
Its upsetting to hear your family talk about you, when you know you standing there besides them. It makes me cry when they hold parties, but they want all the money to go to me. I can see her standing there, crying, asking for money to help me. But I know that there is no time left. The doctors have done all they can, Mom has done all she can, my baby brother doesnt know what is going on. But I do. There is no more time, its time to go.
December has Christmas in it, a favorite holiday of most, but this year I hope to make it through. I dont want mom and dad to think of me every time they hear Christmas music, just when they hang up the stockings. I'm still in the house, I still remember what its like. I can see my little brother growing up, but only see my face on top of the pillows. It ws scary, I was frightened, but after I didn't feel afraid for myself anymore, just a little sad that I had to leave everyone behind.
I remember visiting cousins, and cousins that were visiting. After I never did see any of them again, but that is okay, I know they have pictures of me on thier walls, in wallets and in thier minds. I know I still live on in memories and in dreams. I know I'm still alive down there somewhere.
I remember how nice it was to walk amoung people I loved, to brush my hair and everyone called me Princess. I loved being a Princess, Princess Madeline. It made me feel special, like I was a real fairy tale Princess. A relative of mine made me a princess dolly, I have her with me, she keeps me safe, still.
It's funny to not be afraid, but thats how I am, now. I'm no longer afriad. My hair began to grow back after I left the hospital, a little bit each day.
But I do miss my family, decorating the tree and all. I miss drawing pictures with my brother, being a Princess for my family. I miss life down there, and I know they miss me too.
December is when I left, December is Christmas, December is cold, snowy and full of holiday spirit. I hope that everyone is full of holiday Christmas spirit when they think of me, after all, I got my Christmas wish. I get to see my family everyday, but a little more free from pain every year.
I'm still little, but every year I get bigger, someday maybe I'll go back down again. I'm a Princess Angel Madeline. And I'm bringing you Christmas spirit this year.
Please think of me this Christmas, and remind yourselves how lucky you are. After all, not everyone knows a Princess Fairy. Just the lucky ones.
In memory of Madeline, my Princess Angel.
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