Last Night

Any ordinary night ends pretty much the same ordinary way. A few texts of fake love and sincere good nights. Last minute questions and reminders for the morning. Say good night, put the phone on vibrate, read a few chapters then crawl into bed. A pretty routine schedule. Off goes the light and I wait for sleep to come.
Last night was no ordinary night. I did not receive the ordinary good night text, or read the ordinary chapter. The light didn't go off as usual and the rain just seemed to continue. I couldn't fall asleep, I was too hot, too cold, too... something was wrong.
I answered the messages then received a different one off the bat. I raced out into the living area and was prepared to answer the phone. Small talk ensued, I was happy. 1 a.m. small talk I could handle.
Small talk I could handle. But news, news that hits you in the gut, drives out all other thoughts, clams up your hands, makes your knees weak and your head spin, that was what I received after the small talk was over. 
The heater tuned out, the clamor upstairs dimmed out, the couch with its comfy cushion felt as hard as a board of wood, the chill that I was fighting crept down my back and into my internals.
In a shocked voice I whispered the callers name into the mouth piece, there was no more that I could say, what was there to say? Quickly the caller changed the morbid topic and with a fake high laugh I went along with it. I heard a yawn, it made me yawn and the caller hung up the phone, promising to call back in the morning.
Walking back to bed I felt numb, scared and awake. I barely remember how I crawled back into bed, the first time. There was nothing I could do, I thought. The feathers on the ceiling fluttered from the heat emanating from the radiator on the floor, reminding me of less worrisome times.
Knowing what I had to do then I flipped the sheets back and raced out of bed. The flashlight clicked on and I dug into my drawers to find my Bible, the best source to ask my questions. I opened the new pages and let my fingers find the page. With growing pain I ran my finger down the page and stopped on a passage. In my tear filled eyes I found the passage, "... men are beasts." He had presented me with the words I needed.
The words I needed told me of how all things happen for a reason.  For every good action in the world, there is an opposite bad action. Unfortunately it had come full circle.
For every birth there is a death, for every death there is a birth. For every penny that is earned someone else loses one. For every penny lost there is another gained. For every blessing there is a curse, and for every curse there is a blessing.
This is what I read by the light of my torch. I had asked and He had answered. I felt better but not relieved. Pain does not go away just by words. Pain does not go away just by talking. Pain does not go away with the knowledge that someone else is having a better day. Pain does not always go away.
I heard valuable advice from a friend today, you do not understand a situation until you experience it. Until then you can only be sympathetic, not empathetic. You do not know what they are going through, you do not know what they are thinking, truly feeling or what desires they have anymore. They may not be the same person. I can only be sympathetic in the late night callers message.
Before I finally went to bed I wrote a last text message, I wrote: "I will be there for you." It was all I could do. All I can do is be there for that person. All I can do is offer my shoulder and my ear. I will not pressure them, I will not ask details. I will say my piece, how I am there for that person and will always be, even though I am only a sympathetic person, not fully an empathetic one.
My last thought before I fell asleep into a pillow stuffed full of tissues was 'scream and holler about the pain, for it is only human to feel it." It is true, we all are humans and we all mistakes. But this is not a mistake, and He cannot take away the pain completely.
He knows that he can give us these problems for He knows that we are strong enough to survive.
I did not understand being sympathetic and being empathetic until last night. I may not be the strongest person alive either. But at best I can offer my shoulder, my ear, and my love to those that need it. It is unlimited love, just as the love He gave us.
Please offer yours as well to any of your friends who may need it but do not have the strengh to ask. The caller asked and I gave, I gave because I had. If I had none I would still offer. Hope and Friendship is worth more than all the money in the world. More.