My Husband

Alarm goes off, Roll out of bed, Brush teeth, Get Dressed, Ready for Work.
Except not today.
Today I don't want to go to work and do the same routine.
Today I don't want to force small talk with Cheryl during carpool about how our lives are going. About how her famimly is well behaved, getting straight A's and so far hasn't raised any suspicions with the local goverment. Except for her husband, as he is the goverment in the town. He is, you guessed it, the police chief. Who would have thought.
Today, we were going to do something different.
Today we were going to find that little black dress. Today we were going to buy it right off the rack and wear it that night. yes. We are going to do that tonight. No if, ands or buts about it.
Well, first things first. We kinda need the purse. And We kind of need the money. and we kind of need the will power to actually defy the odds and get out of the house  to do the impossible!
Lets do it, Lets do it, Lets do it, I can't say it enough, lets do it!
And I can't do it. I just freakin' can't.

Oh the Hell with It.

Yes. I Freakin Can!

First things first. I started with the basics. Red lips, Red Nail Polish on the fingers, on the toes and of course could not forget the red shirt. I was going to be a wild child, or at least a wild woman. I can do that. I can be a wild woman... after a quck stop to the bank then off to the mall!

I shopped for a while at the discount stores, then I felt a little daring, I really ought to just muster up the courage and go straight to the top most expensive store, open a credit card and BUY THAT LITTLE BLACK DRESS!

Well the search went on for an hour, then another hour, and three more hours and finally, I gave up. I wasn't going to find that  little black dress that fit me right, showed off my awkward bodice, gave me shapely hips and well, looked good. Everything I tried on fit the skinnie minnies that I still don't understand how they even exist thier so thin. so I headed home, a very boring story I know.

But then I had the bright idea of going to the discount store near my house. Well... I didn't find it again. Well, my neighbor was having a tag sale so I decided to visit her and wouldn't you believe it... I... had... no such luck. Rats.

Well one day wasted in the life of a middle aged woman who all she wants to do is impress her ever busy husband. Think I'd ever succeed? Well, I came home, ready to cook my fantastic a meal that only his mother could rival and what did I open my door to?

Not my husband, no. But my MOTHER. "What are you doing being all dressed up like that? Your nails don't match your shirt, why do you have that color of lipstick on? Are you cheating on your husband? Why aren't you at work today?"

"Hi, Mom." I forgot. She was supposed to visit today. No wonder I wanted to get out of the house for the day, I didn't want to run into her. Logical. Well, although my mother is still trying to figure out that I like privacy during the week, she still some how knows exactly what I'm looking for! And there, hanging on the kitchen door is that little black dress that i had been searching for all day! Well, now how do you tell your mother that you want to get dressed up in it to impress the hubby?

Well, she doesn't quite get that much, so I guess I'll just have to put the red nail polish, the red lipstick and the little black dress on another day and gussy up for the hubby.

By the way, the husband is so very supportive and is so very wonderful and is always there for me. If you haven't guessed already, my husband is a back supporter that I lean against when I ready my smutty novels. My husband gets more attention than any other man in my life. And I am quite grateful because I highly doubt that there will be any other man that is more supportive!